im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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