oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
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