At least make sure they are 18
Why
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
His nipple licking is glorious
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