I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
