My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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