Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
