I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
