fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
