if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
