shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
