Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
