i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
