When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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