That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
