Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
