Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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