So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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