Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
