Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
