I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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