Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
