If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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