You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
