this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
