"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
