Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
