I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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