Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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