the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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