And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Randomize