god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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