Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
