Just mADE A PArabola og urine
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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