I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i dont even know how to be here
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
