When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
