Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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