You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Randomize
