remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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