Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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