I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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