bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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