Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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