She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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