I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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