he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
