I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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