you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
