we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
