If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
