accomplished twins. life is a go
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize