Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
