I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
