i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is my gift to your gina
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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