Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
