also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
