Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
