Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize