Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
