Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
