I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
