I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
the liver wants what the liver wants
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
