GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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